Who Says a Girl's Favorite Color is Pink?

It amazes me how many people think that if a girl isn't all "hearts and flowers" over Valentine's Day, that she must be single and miserable. Sure, there are some single ladies out there that dread that one day a year when they're reminded that everyone they know is either out on a date, cuddling in bed, or getting their world slammed in the backseat of a car, while she's sitting at home watching Wheel of Fortune with her folks; but there are many others who simply find the day to be useless and rather a pathetic display of ridiculous emotions and sentiment.

I've decided to compile my TOP FIVE reasons that I dislike Valentine's Day...Don't take it all so serious, remember it's meant to be humorous...I just happen to have a twisted sense of humor.

1. I have been in a relationship for 8 years…that my friends should be “nuff said”, but I’ll continue – I did promise 5 reasons after all. 

2. I hate the color pink, hearts and anything ubber romantic and cheesy. Seriously, the lovey-dovey, overly dramatic, laying on the bullshit thicker than Paula Deen lays on the butter is over rated and makes me want to pop a dude’s eyeballs out with a spork rather than drop my panties and grab my ankles. 

3. If a bitch needs one fuckin day a year to feel fucking special and appreciated than her “man” ain't doing his job in the first place by making her feel loved and appreciated throughout the entire fuckin year. 

4. I don't need my man to buy me flowers that will die, cards that I'll throw away, chocolate that will fuck with my (non-existent) abs and ass, jewelry that I'll never wear, or a giant fuckin teddy bear that I'll post on the "freebie" section of Craigs list the next day. If I wanted those things, I’d buy them for myself; Being independent and self-reliant is an amazing thing! 

5. And finally to those few men out there - if your girl needs you to buy her all those things and take her out to some over-priced restaurant where she’ll basically eat a roll and a small bowl of salad cause it took you 6hrs to get a table and she ended up eating 2 Snickers while waiting, just so that she will feel “special” enough to get on her knees and wrap her lips around your ‘semi’, than you need to trade in for a newer model…just sayin.