Every guys pretends that their penis is some form of superhero, that they can cure the most terrible diseases if they insert their penis into a vagina, that every girl will fall madly in love with them as if they were Batman.
They boast about how every girl they have ever been with says "Omg it's sooooo big" or "Oooooh it's hurts me!". They talk a big game about how amazing they are in bed, how many women they've slept with, and how many virgins they have corrupted and turned into raging whores. There are *some* of them that don't deserve the write to brag, and it's time for the biggest cunt of them all to burst your big egotistical fuckin bubbles.
Homie...stop your lying.
How are you gonna brag about some broad saying your cock is soooo big that it didn't fit inside of her, when I'm pretty sure a ferret's dick is bigger than yours. When your cock tucks neatly inside of my hand, and the head of it cannot be seen above my hand, you should stop bragging. And don't hate when a bitch starts laughing hysterically at you and informs you quite bluntly that "This shit just ain't gonna work". Sure you didn't decide how big to make your wee little penis grow, but for fuck sake don't brag about the size of your cock when it's appears you haven't hit puberty yet.
So you admit you aren't huge, but every girl thinks you're fuckin phenomenal in bed? Umm, that's what girls say when they don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm not one of those girls so let's put this shit out there real quick like. You suck in bed. Not like, you suck on twat really good and it made me cream myself...which we will discuss in a moment...no Holmes, you just fuckin sucked. What's with the rock-a-bye-baby hip motion from side to fuckin side?? Or that awkward thing you do where it feels like you're trying to hula-hoop with my vagina? Seriously, watch porn you'll learn a thing or two. It's in and out, up and down, back and forth...But that's your "signature move"?? Well, it's time to go back to the drawing board and create something new.
Speaking of licking twat...you should take some lessons from a lesbian. See, I kinda get why a girl let's another girl be face first between her thighs, cause guys don't see to fuckin get it. I swear of all the men I've ever been with in my life, this is the worst performance they ever give. It always ends in me thinking to myself "What can I do to get him to stop?" And for those of you that still have trouble finding a broads clit...uhhhh time to get back to anatomy class.
Now, about your whore making skills...you're very cocky to think that because of you beating some virgin guts in and then leaving the broad, that she is now a sex-craved little whorish twatter. It had nothing to do with you, sure she let your take her virginity, that's more than likely because she realized your cock would barely be felt inside of her and therefore she wouldn't have to worry about the pain associated with losing her virginity. Plus if anyone ever asked she could still claim to be a virgin, because your wee little penis didn't reach far enough inside of her to actually take her virginity aka pop her precious cherry.
So sit your ass down homie, cause the more you talk a big game, the more girls are laughing behind your back as they tell their girlfriends about the dude who thought his cock could satisfy anything more than a fleshlight.
Disclaimer -- Not every guy has a little penis and doesn't know how to use it properly. I did say *some* guys, I'm not really hating on men in general just a few specifics. Don't like it, don't read it..doesn't bother me either way...Tomorrow's edition will be about men with large cocks who don't know how to use them properly just so the little guys don't get all ass hurt over this.
=^_^=
Meow.
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